Checkmate
by Snowlia
Summary: "A twinge of guilt. He was used to it all by now, the rhythm of how things happened. The faux smile, the play of romance, the nausea, the guilt. All of this was nothing but a recorded skit to him. A part he played over and over daily." AU Alec/Simon


A/N: This is a late Christmas gift for my friend Simon (Kate), who asked for an M rated AU Simlec fic. I swear it was done before Christmas, the editing process just went a little long. A big thanks to my friend Isabel (Becca) for editing! I encountered some difficulty and while it's not exactly smut, it is M for a reason. It also turned out much more angsty than I had anticipated. It is not as well done as Second Rate I am sorry to say, but I still enjoy it and I hope you do too. I am contemplating writing a multi-chapter fic based on this idea, let me know your thoughts. And Merry Christmas Simon!

Disclaimer: I am not Cassandra Clare.

"And, where are you going?"

Alec looked up, shocked that Jace had even noticed he wasn't heading in the same direction. "Uhh," he tried eloquently, hoping his tongue had a better plan for an excuse. He was sorely disappointed.

"You see, Alec," Jace explained, holding his palms out in a patronizing manner, "we," he indicated the both of them, "were just at practice. And now, we go home," he thrust his arms out in an exaggerated manner down the hallway, "which is that way."

Alec closed his lips promptly, cheeks burning. "I know where home is."

"Then," Jace cocked his head, shifting his duffle bag higher up on his shoulder, "where are you going?"  
Alec's mind was reeling as he glanced off of the white hallways, trying to quickly take in all the bright posters pinned to doors and lockers, looking for a quick excuse.

"There you two are!"

Both Alec and Jace turned at the sound of approaching sneakers squeaking across polished floors. Alec felt his spirit rapidly deteriorating and forced a shaky smile in place. Two girls in matching crop tops and skirts with sleek black hair pulled into tight ponytails were hustling down the hall towards them.  
The shorter girl burst into a run the last couple of feet, throwing her arms around Alec, pushing him back a few inches and making him stumble. He did his best not to wince, wrapping his arms around her in turn.

"Hey Aline."

She burrowed her head against his chest, barely reaching his collarbone. A wide grin spread across her thin face as she looked up at him under mascara-thick lashes. On her tiptoes and stretching as far as her neck would reach, Alec still had to lean down to meet her lips. Alec could never say Aline wasn't a good kisser, her lips moved perfectly against his, catching his bottom lip between hers and nipping playfully before pulling back. "Hey," her voice was a whisper against his chin.

"Hey," he whispered against her hair, his smile broad and eyes hooded in happiness. No one would ever say Alec Lightwood was not a fantastic actor.

"Get a room."

The couple looked up at Jace's tone, his disgust pulling his lips into a scowl, but there was no malice in his eyes.

"Maybe we will," Aline smirked back, tossing her head a little to the side so her ponytail flipped over. Alec hated it when she did that.

To be honest, he wasn't really too fond of her at all.

Anxiously he glanced down the hall, not hearing whatever quip Jace had retorted with.

"Look," Aline was tugging gently on the front of his jersey, demanding his attention. "We match," she giggled as if it were a great joke, waving her hand between their green and gold uniforms.

He smiled at her in what he hoped was a fond manner. "It was meant to be." 

She laughed and he held back a grimace. 

"Come on," Jace groaned, slumping against a locker like he was ready to collapse at any given second "Let's go home!" 

Aline rolled her eyes, looking genuinely annoyed. She slid her hand into Alec's. "I need your help with some history, I think I might be failing. You should come over to my house tonight and help me study." Her voice was serious, but the look she gave him with her back to the others suggested she intended on doing no studying tonight. 

Panic rose in Alec's throat as it always did when Aline got suggestive. As usual, he forced it down with an iron will. "I'm sorry, I can't tonight." 

Aline's face fell and her shoulders slumped. "Why not?" 

A twinge of guilt. He was used to it all by now, the rhythm of how things happened. The faux smile, the play of romance, the nausea, the guilt. All of this was nothing but a recorded skit to him. A part he played over and over daily. 

"I'm sorry, but I really have to do something. Mrs. Scarpane wanted to see me about a project." He took her small hands, squeezing them gently and planting a kiss to her forehead reassuringly. "I'm sorry. Some other time." 

"Yeah," Aline smiled back and Alec wondered, as he had been for the past couple of times when he had turned her down, if her smile was starting to seem a little forced as well. "Maybe tomorrow?" her voice was hopeful, but it didn't reach her eyes. 

Awkwardly Alec nodded. "Yeah, definitely tomorrow." He knew that if he was going to keep this up, he would have to go with her tomorrow. The thought made him sick to his stomach. 

"How are you getting home?" 

For the first time Alec looked up at the other cheerleader. She stood with her arms crossed, her face hard with what almost looked like disappointment. Her eyes surveyed his face intently. Alec knew what she was looking for, cracks in his armor, any sign that this was all an act. 

Because she knew. 

"Don't worry about me, Isabel," he assured her, trying not to meet those deep brown eyes. His father's eyes. 

His father was the absolute last person he wanted to be thinking about now. 

Her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth but Jace cut her off. 

"Come on Izzy, let the man go, it's obvious he's just trying to sneak off to watch the chess match. He's just too ashamed to admit what a huge nerd he is." The blonde grinned lazily, glaring down Alec. "Isn't that right, Alec?" 

Alec grinned back, hoping his nerves didn't reflect onto his face. "Oh course, what else?" 

Satisfied Jace turned, and Alec did the same in the opposite direction. 

"Wait." 

Bracing himself Alec looked back at Aline. She stood in the middle of the hall, hands knotted together, shoulders slumped and eyes looking desperate, like a little girl being shunned from the group. The guilt hit Alec like a punch to the stomach. It was all he could to not double over in his own shame. "Yeah?" He asked softly, smiling. 

"Do you want me to take your bag back?" She held out tiny hands, ready to take his heavy duffle bag.  
Alec couldn't help the wave of emotion that swelled over his iron will, closing his eyes tight against the tsunami. "Uh." 

But she was taking it from his limp arms, pulling it over top of her own, bending slightly under the extra weight. 

He shook his head quickly. This was too much. "No, you don't have to…" 

"No, I got it," she assured, pushing away his hands. "I'll take it back for you." She smiled brightly. "I got you." 

"Um…alright, thanks." He ran his hand through his hair awkwardly, uncertain about what to do. After a moment he turned and began to walk back the way he had begun. 

"Wait," a soft voice called after him and he resisted the urge to turn on his heel and scream 'WHAT', instead opting for a more subtle approach. Without a word he looked back. 

Aline stood for another moment, looking uncertain. "Are you sure you can't tonight?" 

He met her eyes for a minute, staring hard. "Yes, I'm sure I can't." Without looking back he started again down the hall; reading the quotes off of posters without really remembering them even a second later, just to keep his thoughts off of Jace and Isabel and Aline and his parents. Off of everyone who didn't matter right now. 

Alec had spent his entire life pleasing others. Doing whatever made them happy. He deserved this, didn't he? He deserved this little piece of happiness, right? 

With a quick look over his shoulder to confirm that the others were indeed gone, he turned down another hall, away from Mrs. Scarpane's room and towards the mathematics wing. He tried and failed to keep his head high and his steps certain as he approached a group of teenagers, milling about outside of one of the classrooms. 

Just as he had anticipated, heads turned and conversations slowed and stopped as he approached. Wide eyes, hidden behind thick glasses and multi colored hair regarded him curiously as he passed. Trying to ignore the looks and whispers that followed he ducked inside the classroom where a group of twenty or so students stood and sat silently, crowded in a half circle around two boys sitting in the middle, a chess board between them. 

Judging by the continued stares he was getting, he knew there would be no way it wouldn't get back to Jace that he had actually attended the Raziel High chess competition, but he would deal with that later.

A girl with bright purple hair and a faded band tee shirt regarded him curiously for a moment before smiling hesitantly. Awkwardly he returned the gesture. 

"Who's winning?" He whispered as quietly as he could, before he lost his nerve. 

She shrugged. "It could go either way." 

Alec nodded. He had no idea how the hell to play chess. 

The two boys at the table were so absorbed in the board he wondered if they even realized there was a crowd. The first was shorter and a little stockier, a thick shock of blonde hair lay flat on his head and his one hand was curled around his chin in concentration.

The other boy was taller and skinny to almost an unhealthy level. His skin was strikingly pale and his dark hair a mess, falling into his eyes as he was continuously pushing it out. Both boys wore glasses. 

They would both have glasses. 

The minutes dragged by as the boys made their moves, Alec had no idea what was going on and didn't really care. He had his eyes glued to the dark haired boy, watching his emotions change and the mechanisms in his head ticking along with each move. His brow furrowed and his lip twitched, eyes glued to the board and fleetingly to his opponent. Every couple of minutes his tongue darted out running along his lips and when he seemed puzzled he stuck it in his cheek, lips pouted with deep concentration. 

Alec wasn't bored for an instant. 

And then without warning the dark haired boy was on his feet, a yell of victory on his lips and the blonde was slumped dejectedly over the board. The crowd cheered and groaned in equal parts and Alec was startled from his reserve quite quickly. 

"Checkmate!" 

Kids in BBC tee shirts with dyed hair and drawings on their arms were patting the winner on the back and shoulders, shouting congratulations and all together making a bigger stir than was really necessary for a chess match. Alec clapped politely and proudly along, though. 

The boy looked up across the room, shaking someone's hand distractedly. Then he met Alec's eyes.  
Suddenly his smile was gone, replaced with a sheepish look and a blush across his nose and cheeks. He was muttering quickly to the people congratulating him and Alec took that as his cue to leave. Easily slipping from the small crowd and out into the empty hallway he left the noise behind, passing his reflection in cabinets of trophies from games long past and dented lockers. Slipping around a corner he leaned in a niche in the wall, hidden from any passersby unless they were looking for him. 

The minutes ticked by and as if by instinct Alec checked his phone, scrolling through it and waiting for text messages he knew he wouldn't get. Steadily people began passing him, the geek crowd from the chess match dispersing and heading home or to the comic book store, wherever it was they went. More minutes passed and Alec leaned patiently against the wall. He had waited this long, he could wait a little longer. 

"What are you doing here?" The brown haired boy with glasses from the chess match poked his head around the corner. 

Alec's heart leapt to his throat, he found it rather difficult to think, let alone speak. Without a word he walked past him, eyes darting left and right as he left the sanctuary of the alcove, alert for anyone watching. No one seemed to be in the halls, save for the occasional strangler who may or may not have looked up, but there was no judgment or thoughts behind those eyes. Just taking in the presence of another. 

Alec heard the sigh behind him and pushed down the edges of a smile, hearing the footsteps following his own. Down two more halls Alec led him and finally to a set of wooden doors, with another cautious look around he opened them, slipping inside. 

The lights were off, but Alec left them as they were, still able to see by the light of the skylights dotting the ceiling. With his back still to the other boy he felt a pang of regret as he passed a row of lockers, sidestepping a bench in-between. 

"I'm sorry, Simon" he admitted quietly, voicing it for the first time. Alec spared a shameful glance over his shoulder to the other boy who looked up in surprise. 

"Sorry for what?" Simon adjusted his glasses, pushing them up farther on his nose and brushing the hair out of his eyes. 

Alec felt his heart give another pang. It hurt how adorable he was. 

For a moment he didn't know what to say, had forgotten what the question had been. He reached out, finger tips brushing Simon's cheeks. 

Simon's eyes went wide and his cheeks were already beginning to flush as Alec leaned in and pressed his mouth to his. He couldn't help the sigh that escaped him as he felt Simon's lips move against his, palms resting lightly on his shoulders. 

Aline was a fine kisser, he didn't really mind her mouth against his, but he didn't look forward to it either. He didn't enjoy it. Simon was an entirely different matter however. One of his hands moved up into the smaller boy's hair, stroking and pulling while his other moved lower, pushing his jaw up. 

He had missed Simon so much; he hadn't even realized it until just now. 

Pulling away he rested his forehead against the other boys. "What were we talking about?" 

Simon's eyes were still closed, glasses slipped back down his nose. Affectionately Alec pushed them back up as Simon grasped for words. "Uh…you apologized?" 

"Oh," Alec closed his eyes again. Shame was welling up in his chest again, pushing forward until it hurt.

Usually he didn't feel the shame, the regret and the embarrassment, until long after he had left Simon, but recently it had begun whenever he met his eyes. Whenever they met in secret like this.

It used to be that he regretted what he was doing because it was wrong. Because if his family found out they would be shamed. Because he was cheating on Aline and because he was a disgrace to everything a Lightwood should be. Now though, it was all about Simon. About how unfair it was to him. 

He opened his eyes, pressing another quick kiss to his lips. "You deserve better." 

Simon's eyes flew open, meeting his in shock. His lips parted and Alec resisted the urge to take advantage. "Better? I deserve better?" His voice was nonplused, bordering on mocking. "Alec, over half of the girls in this school would kill their best friend to be me. You're…" he trailed off for a minute, stuttering. "You're amazing. You're a straight A student, a star on the soccer team, you're never mean to me or anything like that, you're the greatest guy I've ever met, you're fucking gorgeous…" 

Alec's face was burning. No one ever talked to him like Simon did, not even Aline. If nothing else to only stop the other boy from speaking he nuzzled against his hair. "Thank-you," he whispered, embarrassed. "But I meant you deserve better than a locker room."

"Oh." Simon's voice was tiny and flustered and Alec smiled into his hair, kissing the top of his ear reassuringly. Simon relaxed a little and Alec drew his hand from his face, reaching down to find his hand, intertwining their fingers. 

"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. But if I'm the greatest guy you've ever met, you have led a very sorry life." 

Simon shook his head, but didn't move, not letting Alec see his face. "You don't give yourself enough credit. I think that's Jace's fault." 

Alec tensed. Jace was an off limit topic, but Simon didn't elaborate. Simon shifted against him, moving away so the only things touching were their hands. "I mean, this would be like Cinderella, if I were a girl that is." He smiled and Alec couldn't help but smile back. 

"How do you figure?" 

Simon tilted his head to the side, thinking deeply. "Well, I mean you're the Prince, the star athlete, good student, attractive senior that everyone wants. And I am the nerdy, awkward junior whose name no one can remember. Even though it's on a plaque in the hallway for winning the regional chess competition two years in a row…Anyway I'm the one everyone always picks on and forgets. And then you want to be with me. So minus the evil-step mother and sisters, and chimney cleaning and fairy godmother, and slipper and ball and pumpkin and everything else, it's like Cinderella." He finished with a nod, accepting his own idea. 

Alec regarded him curiously for a second. "What?" 

"You heard me," Simon snapped back with a haughty purse to his lips and Alec laughed, leaning against the lockers. 

"I really doubt that I am the Prince…" Alec felt his face warming. He was no prince. Jace was a prince, in every aspect of the word. And Isabel and Aline were most defiantly princesses, but him? No, he was nothing of royalty. 

Simon rolled his eyes. "Your humble act is getting old. You and I both know you could do much better than me." Though his words were joking, teasing, Alec saw the nervous twinge to his eye, the sideways glance he gave him, worried that he was putting too many ideas in Alec's head. 

He had no words, nothing he found he could say to Simon. Roughly, but not too hard, he pushed Simon's back against the lockers and pinned him there, kissing him intensely. Simon froze, eyes wide before retaliating, forcing his tongue between Alec's lips. For a moment Alec allowed it, letting Simon tease his lips and tongue before he was forcing him out, dominating his mouth instead. 

With the need for breath they broke apart, panting lightly. "What do you think they would call that?" 

Alec resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Why Simon always felt the need to defuse sexual moments with quick banter, Alec would never know. "Call what?" 

"Our version of Cinderella." 

"You are not Cinderella!" 

"Cindergayla? Gayerella?"

Alec forced their lips together, silencing him again. It was short lived. 

"I will bet you anything that is the title of an existing porn…" 

As annoying as it was, Alec couldn't help but laugh. Even Simon's annoying qualities were endearing.

Now Simon was kissing him, moving his lips determinedly. One of Simon's legs moved forward, rubbing against Alec's provocatively and a little out of character. 

"I…" and then Simon stopped, thinking better and going in for another kiss. 

Alec smirked, pulling back. He had learned quickly that whenever Simon decided against saying something, it was usually the things that Alec loved to hear the most. 

"What?" 

"Nothing." The look of sheepishness said otherwise. 

Alec leaned back as Simon tried to kiss him again, obviously withholding anything until Simon elaborated. Why Simon didn't just give up at first was a mystery at this point. 

He sighed, "You don't smile a lot. I mean, when we're in school and I see you with Jace and Isabel and

Aline-" 

"Creeper." 

"-You don't seem to smile so much, But with me, you do." 

Alec felt his own face flushing. "So?" 

Simon shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "I don't know…I like it when you smile." He trailed off in a whisper, looking uncomfortable. 

Alec opened his mouth, meaning to say something, but shut it just as quickly. 

"What?" 

Alec looked past him, staring blankly at the showers. "Well..that's…that's because…" he trailed off, words unintelligible and Simon furrowed his brow. 

"Huh?" 

"Because I'm happiest when I'm with you." He couldn't meet his eye, feeling awkward and exposed. Feelings weren't something they generally spoke about. It always left him feeling uncomfortable and stupid. 

"Oh…" Simon had nothing more to say. They stood like that for what felt like far too long, neither looking at the other or saying anything. "Why did you come to my match?"

Alec had been lost in his own reverie of nothingness, losing himself to everything but the pressure of skin against his hand. "What?" 

"Why did you come to my chess match?" 

"Oh yeah," Alec's head snapped up. "I'm sorry I couldn't get there earlier, practice went longer." 

Simon stared at him oddly. "Why did you come though?" 

Alec gave him the same look back. "Why would I not?" 

"Well, it's probably the most boring thing to watch on the planet. And I thought you didn't understand chess." 

"I don't, I had no idea what the Hell was going on…" 

"Then why did you come?" Simon demanded. 

Alec was uncertain, feeling a little hurt. "Did you not want me there?" 

"No!" Simon responded a little too quickly. "No, I appreciated it. It was…nice. But, you didn't have to." 

"That's why I did it. I wanted to be there." 

Simon stared at the floor, but Alec saw the smile breaking his face. It was true, the only time Alec was truly happy, was with Simon. He knew he was pathetic, he knew he was sad, but it was the first time in a long, long time that anything had made him truly happy. Smiling, he buried his face in Simon's hair again. Simon smelled of shampoo and street and a little bit of something else. Something only Simon smelled like. 

"But, you don't have to. Not if you don't want to. It's not like…It's not like I'm your…" he swallowed hard, facing the word neither of them had wanted to venture into, "boyfriend…or something." 

Alec felt every muscle in his body tense, freezing at the word. It carried so many more meanings and emotions than nine letters had any right to. It was a wonderful and terrifying and dangerous word.  
"Well…" he gathered all the courage he had, wrapped it all up in one bundle and gave it all up to that one single moment "if you want…you could be." Alec was certain he had never been more afraid of anything in his entire life. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to say, to offer that out there. His hands clutched Simon hard as he waited for the response. 

For a minute or two Simon was silent, head down and unmoving. Alec felt his nerves building and feeding upon themselves, slowing destroying what little sanity he had remaining as the seconds ticked by. 

And then Simon's mouth was on his, lips and tongue demanding and harsh, exploring and dominating. Alec met him quickly, throwing his arms around his skinny frame, pulling close. Simon met him with no resistance, drawing his arms around his neck and pulling them closer together still. Alec's hand roamed across Simon's back, squeezing his side in the exact place he knew he liked. 

Simon broke the kiss and for one hopeful and horrible second, Alec thought he was going to say yes, to accept his proposal. And then he saw his face. No joking smile lit his features. He looked older, more haunted and tired, so tired. 

"Aline got a new lip gloss, didn't she?" He smiled, but there was no spark behind it. His muscles were forcing the gesture. 

Alec's heart shattered, destroyed by a single question. He knew Simon wasn't looking for an answer. It was a response. 'You can't have us both,' cleverly hidden in his words. An easy way of turning Alec down, and softening the blow with a kiss. 

Alec nodded somberly, accepting Simon's answer, though it didn't stop his ache. He could feel the shattered pieces in his chest cutting into organs and veins. It had to just be one bloody, chaotic mess inside of there, surely it would kill him soon enough. 

Simon was still looking at him, but there was no anger there, not even so much hurt as pity. Alec couldn't meet his eye. Again he pressed his lips to the side of Simon's face, just to prevent himself from having to meet his eyes. 

Every ounce of guilt he had felt over the last couple of weeks was building up, stomping and storming across his shattered heart and digging the broken shards in deeper. He shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be here right now for so many different reasons. 

His parents would be even more disappointed in him than they already were. 

Jace would think he was a freak and never want to speak to him again. 

He was breaking Aline's heart. 

And possibly most importantly, Simon deserved so much better than this. 

Without warning Alec pressed his mouth hard against Simon's, throwing his weight against him and slamming the startled boy against the lockers. 

In shock Simon made a noise of either surprise or protest but Alec didn't care, pinning the slighter boy against between the metal and himself. With one hand he grabbed the side of Simon's face roughly and with the other he grabbed a hold of a sharp hipbone, jerking their groins closer together. Simon gasped, parting his lips in the slightest and Alec did take advantage, thrusting his tongue in between the slight space. 

After getting over the initial shock-and possible pain-Simon's fingers were twisting in the material of his shirt, pulling him closer. Alec kissed him ferociously, with everything he had, anything to make Simon moan again, anything to make Simon happy. He assaulted his mouth with tongue, teeth and lips, running his fingers across his cheek, over his ears and through his hair. 

His mouth followed his fingers, moving to the side of Simon's mouth and to his cheek, across his jaw line and up to his ear. For a second he breathed against the curve, an apology on the tip of his tongue. A confession of how sorry he was an what a terrible person he was a plea for forgiveness because more and more frequently Simon seemed to be the only one that mattered and the only one he cared about but… 

He moved on, warm lips to Simon's cool neck, a twinge of regret making his stomach pang in an uncomfortable way, but he ignored it, focusing instead on Simon's skin. Simon's arms were wrapping around his shoulders and he was squeezing his eyes shut, stretching away from Alec to give him more access to his neck. 

Impatiently Alec was pulling at Simon's collar, beginning to choke the other boy as he jerked it down so he could get his lips on his protruding collarbone. His other hand squeezing Simon's hip relaxed, trailing his fingertips down the denim and back, squeezing his thigh roughly and pulling up slightly. Simon complied easily, moving his leg up and hitching it against Alec's hip. 

Alec moved to Simon's Adam's apple, being slightly gentler with the tender area as his other hand moved down to grab Simon's other leg, moving them both up to cup his ass. 

Simon made a strangled sort of noise and Alec smiled against his neck. And then they were kissing again, tongues and lips battling and conceding in equal parts. Without warning Alec pulled his right hand from Simon's ass, moving to the front to cup Simon between his legs. 

"Alec!" Simon was pushing against his shoulders, trying to get him off. "Alec what are you doing?" He stretched away from Alec, trying to free his mouth, but Alec was taller and forced them back together.

"Relax," he whispered back "I know what I'm doing." That was a lie, and there was no reason for that to put Simon at ease, but it did manage to get him to stop protesting. He was still wary though. 

Gently Alec pulled up, squeezing and Simon went rigid, hands starting to shake against Alec's back.

"Alec-" He was cut off by Alec's mouth as he palmed harder against his zipper. Moving his fingers as quickly as he could he tugged at the front of Simon's jeans, slipping the buttons out of the fabric and tugging at the zipper. 

Lips still glued to Simon's he slid his fingers into the sides of his pants and eased them down over his hips. Simon broke their kiss, titling his head back against the lockers, eyes closed, but he didn't protest as Alec slid his hand in between his jeans and boxers. Alec kissed his neck, working his hand against Simon through the thin fabric. Simon was full out shaking now, quivering slightly under Alec's touch.  
Before he lost his nerve, Alec grabbed Simon's boxers and pulled them down to his jeans and pulled it all down to his thighs. 

"Alec!" Simon gasped, face flushed bright red and he almost fell as he stumbled. With a laugh Alec quickly grabbed him, holding him steady. 

"You're fine," he kissed him again, deep and slow. Taking a steadying breath, Alec ran his fingers along Simon's bare skin on his thigh and up the inside until Simon's breath hitched in his throat. 

"We sh-sh-shouldn't be doing this here." He swallowed hard but Alec ignored him, wrapping his fingers around him and stroking. 

Simon was shifting and breathing hard as Alec kissed his face and moved his fingers along him. The younger boy had his lip between his teeth, biting hard to hold back strangled whimpering noises brewing in his throat. Alec moved his hand faster, squeezing harder and knew that without any sort of lubrication this wasn't going to be very pleasurable for Simon for much longer. 

And then the idea hit him. 

His own face flushed a deeper red and he slowed down, pausing for a minute. Simon whimpered in distress and Alec kissed him quickly and apologetically, moving again. He took a deep breath against Simon's cheek, surprised at how shaky it was, before finalizing his decision. 

He kissed Simon once more on the lips before moving to his chin, then his neck, then collarbone and then sliding the rest of the way down and onto his knees on the cold floor. Simon's eyes went wide as he realized what Alec was doing. Words died on his parted lips and became a soft moan as Alec pushed the tip of his nose against the curls between Simon's legs and ran it up along Simon's length. 

With a bang that made Alec jump Simon slammed his head back against the lockers and groaned. Alec smiled, encouraged. Gathering his courage yet again he returned to tending to Simon, darting his tongue out to follow the trail he had just run with his nose. Reaching the tip he ran his tongue across and then followed with his lips, capturing Simon in his mouth. He couldn't look anymore but he could hear Simon's hisses and choked off moans. Slowly he went down further, taking more in, swallowing constantly to hold back a gag. 

Alec tried not to moan himself as he felt Simon's fingernails graze along his scalp, fingers lacing around his over grown hair and pushing down slightly, more of a suggestion than a demand. He couldn't help but breathe a laugh at Simon's need to be polite and tentative, even in the middle of sex. Simon's breath shuddered above him and his hips jerked unexpectedly at Alec's laugh. 

Struck with the new idea Alec hummed slightly, wrapping tongue around Simon. The other boy's knees began to buckle and Alec took that as a good sign. Hands firmly on Simon's hips he hummed deeper this time, transferring the vibrations from his mouth onto Simon, working deeper and more intensely, clutching Simon with his fingers wherever his lips couldn't be. Unsure what he was doing but relatively certain that it was right because of the reaction Simon was having, Alec worked with everything he had, tongue, teeth, lips, fingers and vibrations. 

And then Simon's fingers were pushing and pulling harshly at Alec's hair and he was muttering something quickly and quietly, whispering Alec's name. He was trying to say something and his body was getting even tenser and Alec knew what it was. Simon tried to pull Alec off of him, but he didn't budge. It took hardly a minute before Simon was crying out, almost doubling over Alec with release. Alec closed his eyes tighter, bracing himself for the inevitable. He pulled his mouth free with a pop, throwing his head back and swallowing quickly, proud of himself for not choking. 

He fell forward with a cough or two, pressing his forehead to the cool lockers, panting heavily. Fingers were running through his hair again, almost absent-mindedly petting him as he heard Simon fumbling with his pants, trying to pull them up with one hand. After a minute of two of struggling Simon was drawing up his zipper and Alec felt his breath starting to return to normal. 

Simon's hand stayed in his hair as he slid down the lockers, legs splayed out on the floor as he rested next to Alec. Their eyes met through sweat slicked hair. Both of their faces were flushed, pale skin burning red with quickly pulsing blood. After a pause of trepidation Simon smiled, the corner of his mouth pulling up shyly. Alec couldn't even feel embarrassed, that small little smile from Simon reminded him why he had gone down on his knees in the first place. Or rather why he had started meeting him at all. 

He leaned over, pressing his lips to Simon's chastely before pulling away to meet his eyes. Simon's eyes would meet his for a second before darting away, looking absolutely everywhere in awkward embarrassment before meeting his again fleetingly. Alec smiled, pushing a strand of hair off of his forehead. 

"You're so cute." 

Simon laughed nervously. "Thanks…" He stared intently at the lockers. "And thanks for coming to my match." He finished quietly. 

Alec nodded. "No problem. I wanted to. Congratulations again." 

"Thanks. And thanks for…" He trailed off, face flushing with a fresh wave, closing his lips quickly. 

"For putting your cock in my mouth?" Alec considered finishing his sentence, considered being witty and self-confident. It was the kind of response Jace would have given. 

But Alec wasn't Jace and he kept his mouths closed. He instead opted for a small smile of recognition. 

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na…" 

Both boys jumped at the sudden noise and Simon reached for his pocket, pulling out a wailing cell phone. Simon sent Alec an embarrassed sort of smile before answering and turning slightly away from him. 

"Hello…yeah I'm done…I won…yeah thanks…yeah I'll be right out…OK bye...yeah bye…BYE MOM." He clicked the phone closed. "My mom's out front, do you…do you need a ride?" 

Simon knew that Alec would say no, and Alec knew that Simon knew he would say no. It was all part of Simon's never ending act to be polite. 

"No thanks," Alec forced a smile back, putting on his own act. 

Simon nodded, collecting his bag, but still not rising. "Yeah…" A moment passed as neither of them said anything and neither moved. "Ummm…I'm sorry." 

Alec looked up, confused. "For what?" 

Simon looked at him, and then the floor and then the lockers, looking supremely uncomfortable. "For…everything." 

"Simon, I did that because I wanted to not-" 

"No, not that." He took a deep breath. "I mean…for all the shit you have to deal with." 

Alec felt like he had just been punched in the stomach again, pain rolling through his torso and spilling over in nausea. "Oh…" 

"Yeah…you're a really great guy Alec. You…you deserve better than you got." Simon was staring at the floor, fingers toying with the edges of his fraying backpack. 

Alec didn't say anything, horrified at the pressure building behind his eyes and blinking quickly to hold it back. 

Simon leaned forward, pushing his head back and pressing their mouths together in a quick kiss. Breaking away he pushed his glasses up and then met Alec's eyes. "I'm really sorry. I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow." 

And then he was standing up and heading down the aisle, footsteps echoing after he was out of sight, the creak of a door and then he was gone. Alec sat for a quiet minute, doing nothing but staring at nothing before his head dropped to his knees and he ground his teeth together, fighting back sobs as the tears flowed over.


End file.
